Destination Birmingham

For those of you who know of Lenny Valentine from ‘Italian Stripping Housewives’ aka ‘Tutti Fruiti’ – no it’s not a porn film, it’s was a dubbed comedy show on Bravo – I was “up the crack of dawn this morning”. Not literally of course, I was just out of bed very early to catch the 6:30 am Swansea to Paddington train.

The reason for my early start was a visit to Birmingham to attend a web seminar on a variety of topics (LG related of course) and worthwhile it was too – don’t worry I won’t bore you with the details here. The train journey makes far more interesting reading!

I think anyone he travels on the UK rail network is aware that it’s (a) expensive and (b) unreliable and today’s experience merely re-emphasised that fact. My journey to Brum was to be punctuated with one stop – in Bristol Parkway – and I’d timed my journey to arrive in Brum with 25 minutes to spare prior to the 10am event kick-off. However, there was a delay (surprise surprise) in Newport – and as a result I missed my Bristol connection and was 30 minutes late for the event start!! There was also a delay on the way back – thankfully only 15 minutes this time – but it really does show that the train isn’t a viable transport alternative, despite what the government might think. It’s also too bloody expensive!

So with the rail network seemingly going down the pan (well it has been for years lets face it) my mind drifted to other matters – such as the difficulty a 6ft 4′ man – such as myself – has trying to have a pee on a moving train. In fact I’ve called it the ‘ Wee Pee Train Game’ and the object of it is to try and have a pee whilst standing up (with the train moving) and NOT get a drop of urine anywhere on the seat – not even when you shake the drops. Try it out yourself (if your a fella), it’s impossible!

The sporadic snow flurries I saw in Swansea yesterday, turned out to be quite significant as the Midlands had had a nice little dusting overnight – jammy barstewards *sigh*